My true heart journey-meditation journal day #422

I feel more and more tension in my right side body from shoulder down to thigh, only during meditation. I think I have mentioned it several times in this blog.

I ask myself, why could I feel so much tension than before?

Because I become more sensible with deeper meditation practice.

I ask myself, am I bothered by that?

It’s definitely not a comfortable sensation. However it doesn’t bother me much. Being comfortable is not my reason to meditate, to practice, or to live. Being uncomfortable is a sure thing travelling in this unknown territory.

I ask myself, but why do I care to look at that sensation if I wasn’t bothered?

Good point! It seems that I do care and am bothered. But why? What made me to care?

Because of “me”. The existence of “me” keeps me in the loop of my feelings, my thoughts, my likes and dislikes, my purposes, my values…

But actually “I”, “me”, “self” never exists. How do I know?

Because when I meditated this morning, once I realize that I am just part of the process of everything. It doesn’t matter this me or many other me… There is no such thing as tension. Tension exists only because of me. It’s just a happening, and this me define it as tension.